


It’s Cold and Loveless (I Won’t Let You be Denied)

by fiveyaaas



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Complicated Relationships, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex Pollen, Unsafe Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, five never left, title taken from muse’s “undisclosed desires”
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:14:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25794961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/pseuds/fiveyaaas
Summary: Vanya is given an experimental injection, and Five helps her with the side effects.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 21
Kudos: 249





	It’s Cold and Loveless (I Won’t Let You be Denied)

**Author's Note:**

> There’s another sex pollen fic for Fiveya and it is one of my favorite fics, but I wanted to write what would have happened if Vanya had gotten sex pollen used on her instead and ended up writing this. Major thanks to the people who listened to my ideas for it on discord!! Also if you haven’t read the iconic fic I was referring to, you definitely should and here’s the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19718149

Vanya had been exposed to multiple cases of Reginald’s experimentation in her time at the Academy. As she was the only ordinary one, commonly she was given all kinds of serums, pills, and treatments with varying results. There were the times with the truth serum when she would spill secrets that felt propelled out of her that were notably awful. Five told her regularly that she should deny Reginald when he told her to take a foreign substance into her body, but she could not be of use in any other way. Surely, he would have to understand that. Five told her regularly that when they could go away (and know it would be safe to do so) that he would take her with him. 

It still hadn't happened though, and every day was a reminder of what she was  _ not  _ for the Academy. Without any protest, she would swallow a pillow or take an injection if it meant that she meant something to the fate of the world like the others did.

Thus, she did not hesitate when Grace came over to her, holding a needle to her skin and staring down at her with the hint of a motherly smile. Vanya deeply wanted to believe that Grace was a mother, that she did love her, but then she would ask a question and Grace would be confused and she’d feel a spark of fear and then shame for feeling it. 

Vanya grew afraid then. Not when the needle pricked her skin or Grace moved back with a smile and a quick “all done!”

She felt the fear when she felt something she felt tended to feel very little of. Vanya assumed it was her medicine that made the feeling not as strong as most teenagers. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling, but it was something that usually only came during certain times of the month. It was a feeling she knew how to make go away but was ashamed to. 

Grace had already left her behind, and she was instructed to just treat this like it was any other day but to not interact with any of the others once they got home because there was a possibility that this would cause side effects for them as well. The others were on a mission, and she knew that she could easily go and practice her violin. But she needed to get rid of this ache somehow. She pressed her knees sharply together, debating what she was to do. 

If she practiced her violin, she wouldn’t be able to focus. She hoped that Grace would understand. 

She stood up and gasped how even that movement made the feeling even stronger. No, she could not practice right now. She darted up the stairs, trying to reach her bedroom but then she saw Five’s room just above her and it was like she could feel him there. 

In a trance, she walked to his room, opening the door. Her best friend would not be mad, she didn’t think, if she went to his room without his permission. If it were anybody else, yes, but they were best friends. She also suspected that they were becoming more, but she didn’t really know how many times one had to kiss someone before experimentation _became_ something more. 

Vanya thought of kissing as she sat down on his bed. His smell was all around her, and she felt a knot tangling her stomach. 

Maybe she shouldn’t have come in here, maybe it was a bad idea. But she didn’t think Five would begrudge her for it. She remembered the shame she felt when this urge took over, and she wanted to go back to her room and keep the shame for herself. Best friends did not share everything, she knew, and she couldn’t share this shame with him, it wouldn’t be  _ fair. _

It was like she was glued to his bed by some unknown force though, and she didn’t think she could handle leaving it. 

She made a frustrated noise, head smacking against Five’s pillow as she flopped down melodramatically to spread out on his bed. 

That was a mistake. The smell of him was stronger, so much stronger, when she leaned her nose to his pillow. She needed to leave, needed to get out of here. And then her mind flicked to an image of Five and her experimenting with kissing. Unbidden, a whine escaped her throat. 

This was wrong, she knew. She knew that the others probably had urges like this, but they had rules in the house for a reason. If they ever asked questions about their bodies in this regard, they were shot down and told not to mention it ever again. 

Vanya wondered if Five ever felt this way, and she wondered, if he did, did it still make her a bad person for smelling his pillow again?

She thought of the feeling of him on top of her last month, of the time that he had wrestled her to the bed and they had both giggled so long but then he had cleared his throat and moved away. In moving away a bit, his knee had brushed against her, and she had felt the urge she was feeling now. 

Vanya glanced at his pillow again, biting her lip. She closed her eyes, imagining that she was cuddled up to him and not just the cheap imitation she had beside her. Her thighs felt too sweaty, the skirt made her feel almost exposed. 

It felt wrong, but it felt so  _ good.  _ She spread her legs out just a bit, crawling on top of the pillow the way Five had crawled on top of Vanya. She sat down against it, delighted how the pressure of the movement eased the ache just a little more. 

Experimentally, she moved her hips against it, circling over the fabric of the pillow. She moaned at the sensation, and she did it again and again and again.

Vanya gasped, crouching forward and trying to get more of the friction that felt so sinfully good and-

“Vanya?” 

She moaned, not stopping her movement until Five was touching her back gently. 

“Vanya?” he asked again, and his voice sounded unsteady. She remembered what Grace had said about the others catching side effects, and she wanted to cry. 

“I’m so sorry, Five,” she whimpered, lips wobbling as tears already started to form. 

He cleared his throat and his voice had the same edge that it had had when he had pulled away last month, which caused a broken little noise to escape her throat again. “It’s okay, Vanya. No need to be ashamed.”

The dots refused to connect in her head until it all became startlingly obvious. She had been so worried that Five had been hurt by the serum she had been given that she hadn’t even considered what she did. As the blush of shame pooled her cheeks, Five made another noise and flicked his gaze from her own. 

*** 

Five had not wanted to go on the mission today, but he had reluctantly agreed. He kept reminding himself that he was seventeen and he could get out of there no matter what very soon. He had hesitated this long only because he couldn’t imagine leaving without his best friend in tow. There had been a time when he considered running away, even without her, but the day the urge to escape reached a peak, Vanya had gotten sick again and he remembered how sick she had been when she was four. He had made the decision not to leave that day, something that he could not decide if he lived to regret. 

Vanya and him had continued to get closer over time, and he wondered frequently if he should call her his best friend or something else. They had experimented with kissing a lot recently, and he had never wanted to stop doing the experimentation but last month when he had been on top of her, wrestling her to the bed in what would’ve been completely innocent without puberty clouding his thoughts and felt himself growing hard, he worried that maybe he should start backing off a bit. Vanya had never breached the topic of sex with him, and he figured that meant it was because she wasn’t ready for it. He wanted to wait until they both wanted it. 

Of course, that thought would’ve been a much nicer sentiment if he hadn’t nearly blacked out from how quickly blood rushed to his dick the second he saw Vanya fervently fucking herself against his pillow, mouth open in bliss and mumbling “Five” under her breath so soft that he knew she likely wasn’t even aware of it. 

“Vanya?” he croaked weakly, and, yeah, he was going to embarrass himself. 

She kept moving, and he cleared his throat and repeated her name, touching her back for a reason that he could not for the life of him explain. It felt like he was being compelled by some force to get closer, to take in the smell of her pleasure and sweat and touch her and make her feel better. He had never felt something so strong before, and it concerned him on a level that would’ve been upsetting if not for the fact that his thoughts kept clouding away from the upset and going back to  _ her _ . 

But then she was crying, and he felt the upset take over. She started apologizing to him, shame filling his words. He didn’t think it was appropriate to tell her that the sight of her was something he would think of for the rest of his life and was subsequently the best present he thought he ever received, so he promised that it was fine and that there was no need to be ashamed.

Still, the shame colored her cheeks, but he wouldn’t let her think this was wrong. 

He placed his hand on her cheek, thumb scrubbing the tears as they fell. He moved closer, climbing onto his bed. He knew she had to feel his erection bumping against her thigh, but she gracefully didn’t say anything about it. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he told her roughly. “You don’t have to be ashamed.”

She moved again against the pillow and-  _ holy shit _ \- he was watching Vanya masturbate. What was he even supposed to  _ say  _ to that? Was this some sort of punishment, did he arrive in Hell and have to watch Vanya fucking his pillow when his thoughts were always a confused mess when it came to her and not even knowing what they even were to one another? Should he even be watching this?

“Vanya,” he said, and he sounded like he was attempting to speak while being strangled, something he actually happened to have a little experience with, considering the whole vigilante super-powered teenager thing. 

Vanya looked confused, dark eyes opening up wide and glancing at him, mouth open just a little. “Do you want me to leave?”

Fuck  _ no,  _ he didn’t want her to leave, but a thought pressed at his mind. This was too brazen of behavior for her, and he tried to look through the thick veil of his desire that seemed to have descended over him in a way he had never experienced. “What happened, Vanya?” 

He hated that it came out as a whimper. 

“I t-took, ah! Five!” She clutched the forearm that had his tattoo, digging crescent moons into his skin with her nails and steadying his thoughts and letting him see through the fog, if only for a second.

“Vanya, were you given something? To cause this?”

She nodded, and he tried to pull away from her. 

“Five, no, stay. Stay here, I’ll be good, I promise!” she begged.

He pushed further back, hoping he wouldn’t fall off his bed as he backed up. Vanya got off of his pillow, and he gaped at the trail of Vanya’s come against his own pillow. He wanted to look up at her, but he only managed to place his gaze on her feverish thighs. 

“Five,  _ please _ ,” she reached over to touch his knee.   


His protest this time was weak to his own ears. 

“Five, I was  _ made  _ for you,” she whimpered. “Please, please,  _ please _ , I’ll be good. I’m yours, I was made for you,  _ please. _ ”

She was saying nonsense, but his thoughts kept filling with the sound of her breathlessly saying that she was made for him. He couldn’t take it any longer. He grabbed her thighs, scooting her forward until she was in his lap. 

He thought back to the slickness that would probably elicit some sort of Pavlovian response any time he saw that pillow in the future, and, with a sense of wonder, he gently traced the outlines of her damp panties. 

“You’re dripping, Vanya,” he grunted, tracing over them again because she trembled in pleasure and hitched her breath. “You’re so wet for me.”

She moved her hips against his knuckle, and he let her seek the friction for maybe fifteen seconds before he moved his hands away. She looked like she might cry again, so he moved his hands back just to tug the panties off of her and toss them to the side of his room. 

“Such a good girl,” he praised, scraping his teeth against her shoulder while she tried to grind against his cock. 

“Stop,” he commanded, and he was shocked beyond anything when she complied. 

He didn’t say anything else, moving his hand around her jacket and slipping it from his shoulders. He quickly got all of the clothing above his waist off before he moved back to her, unbuttoning the shirt off of her and flicking the garment off to where it fell against the pillow that had been dislodged off to their side. 

“You’re so good,” he told her again, opting for pushing the bra up off her shoulders because if he struggled with the clasp he might kill himself. 

When her chest was bared to him, he immediately moved his head down, kissing and sucking and licking against her, tasting her salty skin against his mouth. Vanya trembled, and he reached down to pet her so that she was also getting something from this. 

It wasn’t enough for him though, and he flipped her to where she was laying down, legs spread out for him on her bed. Her skirt was still on, and he decided he would prefer it that way. His hands pushed down his pants roughly, and she whimpered at the sight of him above her. 

“ _ Five.”  _

His eyes rolled back into his skull as she reached out to touch him.

***

Vanya was not entirely certain how this escalated so quickly. She, however, was entirely certain that she was in too much bliss to care. 

As she wrapped her fingers around Five, he twitched against her hand and she made a little noise at the movement. 

Five gripped her hand, gently yet firmly pulling her hand off of him. “Vanya, can I?”

She nodded eagerly, not even sure what he was asking, just knowing that whatever he asked in that moment she would want him to do immediately. He glanced down between her thighs, moving to touch himself and she realized he was guiding himself to her entrance and she was very happy she had agreed to it because as soon as he did the ache started to stifle itself and she just felt pleasure. She did have to take a second to adjust to the unfamiliar (but not unpleasant) feeling though, and Five looked like he was in physical pain to not move, but he stayed still until she asked him to move. 

The second she gave him the go-ahead though, he pounded into her with an abandon that continued to soothe the urge she was feeling, and she started moving with him, rolling her hips like she had done against his pillow. 

He kept grunting out praise to her, not even seeming to notice that he was doing it. What he was saying above her was both filthy and soft which caused a certain amount of cognitive dissonance but also made her want to cry and say thank you. More than anything though, she wanted to be on top of him, to recreate the feeling she had maintained with the pillow. 

“Five?” She managed to say it with enough of a question to her tone that he paused in his movements. “Can you lean back?”

He was confused and she gestured to how she wanted him, and his confusion turned to appreciation and he lay back against his bed and she climbed back on top of him and she continued the movements that she had done before against the pillow.

Vanya rolled her hips, digging her nails into his shoulder and starting to confess some feelings that she had sort of willfully avoided talking about despite the fact that they usually told each other everything. And Five probably would’ve been much more supportive of her talking about her feelings and encouraging her to say more if the situation were different but as it was he kept saying, “Fuck, Vanya” and pushing his hips up to her.

The pleasure hit a crescendo suddenly, and she was aware that she was still moving against him but she was just riding out the feeling and then she felt something warm filling her and she whimpered again, trying to prolong the feeling even longer as she kept moving her hips. 

Eventually though, it felt like it was too much, and she lifted herself off of him and cuddled up to his side. 

***

Five was still panting, clutching Vanya to his side and surveying her body beside him. 

“I think I know what the serum you were given was for,” Five noted absently, running a finger along her spine. The movement caused her to tremble. He could already feel the need to go again, and he wasn’t sure if he was not only in Hell but that it had just frozen over. 

Vanya was already climbing on top of him again though, and he decided that he had plenty of time left to contemplate the temperature of Hell in the future. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!


End file.
